The Joys of Finding Happiness in Your Life

Ever since I can remember, I was called the “happy child” in my family. I guess I would always be smiling or be in an upbeat mood but I couldn’t help it; I hated when there was strife in my family. I realized a smile could go a long way when my parents were fighting or my sisters were in bad moods. However, as I grew older, life’s challenges became more difficult to conquer with just a smile.

During the first four months of this year, my life felt turned upside down. My happiness was gone, and I couldn’t find a solution for it. Long story short, the fact that I didn’t have a job, was dealing with a minor foot injury, and a few other factors left my outlook on life a bit bleak. I got a job (yay!!!!) but still didn’t feel satisfied. A bit later, a person who was very close and important to me ceased to be close. I was at a standstill and everything came to a head. This person who was supposed to be there for me no longer was, and I was left wondering what to do.

*Note: this blog entry isn’t a sob story, but a story of my journey to find happiness...

One of my favorite quotes is by Eleanor Roosevelt, who coincidentally is one of my favorite First Ladies: “Happiness is not a goal, it’s a by-product.” This quote is pretty insightful, and I find that it’s 100% true. Happiness is a feeling, and it’s produced in reaction to an event, a situation, and an action. When I was left wondering what to do, I went through feelings of disbelief, anger, sadness, and then acceptance of my situation. I eventually decided to be proactive in my life instead of reactive. I knew that I wouldn’t be immediately happy, but I would have to work to find that happiness. After all, it’s a by-product of my choices, right?

With Kirsten after our 5k!

I can’t say that I had a grand plan for my journey to happiness. But I can say that I had a fighting spirit. I knew that I value health and fitness, volunteering, and friendships so I began working on those aspects in my life. I signed up for a 5k as a volunteer runner for a girl with a nonprofit that promotes fitness among adolescent girls to boost their confidence. On race day, I had a grand time running alongside Kirsten, knowing that my presence was [hopefully] helping her feel motivated to finish the longest run she’s done in her life. I began eating healthier; taking salads for lunch and running 5ks on my own after work. Knowing that I was in control of my body helped me feel more in control of my life. I also began spending more time with friends and family. The simple realization that there are people in this life that care for you in your times of need is pretty powerful. I love my friends and family for that.

As time passed, I focused on myself and harnessing that happiness that I absentmindedly lost. I appreciated the sunshine on a beautiful day, the small interactions with strangers, and the milestones I was reaching with my running. In the past two months, I've ran two 5k races, tried three different kinds of exercise classes, made new friends, and sang songs at the top of my lungs with the windows rolled down in the car. I've never let a sunny day pass without noting how happy I am to be alive and seeing the sun shining down on me. Although this sounds perfectly packaged and wrapped up with a bow, there were hard days for me, too. But I have found that every bad day you have is a reminder of how good things can be. And how good they will be, the next day.

Feeling confident after my 5k!

Tonight I was sitting out on the lawn at a town center, enjoying the USA World Cup game against Portugal. For a brief moment I looked down at my dress and thought that I was happy with my body. It was the briefest, most inconsequential moment. But upon realization, that small thought that passed was one of the most defining moments of this journey. For the first time that I can remember, I’m happy with my body and it came from within. I dislike arrogance and self-promotion, so I keep these thoughts to myself. But tonight as I walked away from the game, I ran into a friend’s mom, who hasn’t seen me since graduation over a year ago. The first thing she said to me was “you look great! Have you been working out?” which has become what people tend to say when they see me for the first time in a while. It’s rather humbling to hear that, as I shy away from compliments, but it’s equally as wonderful!

Hearing that I look healthier doesn’t make me wonder what I used to look like before (like every other girl…), it makes me realize that my hard work has paid off. I’ve tried my best to be proactive to life’s challenges, and there are some days I am just as happy as that happy child once was. For me, happiness is a goal, but I must remember it is actually a by-product of my choices and decisions in this life. As I go forward in life, I will try and stay “on top of the world”* instead of lying conquered by it. There will be unbearable days, but those will be the days that remind you of how much better life really can be. It’s all about perspective, and I challenge you to change yours to find the happiness in your life :).

P.S.: the best part is, I’m in charge of my own happiness :)

*Quite possibly the best “happy” songs, and one that’s been on repeat for the past couple months :)